The last week, I saw a girl donning a white graduation hat outside of a supermarket. That really got me thinking. Not only about the indeniable fact that it has been one year since we were the wanton beautiful flowers of the youth. I kinda saw that coming. More so, i really came to think of how different and instructive a year this has been. Topping all I've learnt through high school, I think i have learnt more about myself through this past year, even thought I really haven't done much but working, drinking and playing music. Suddenly having ones identity thrust out of the comfortable box that is being a high school student, I and everyone else have had to find our identities in the inevitable vacuum that is gap-yearing. I think I've come a long way in coming to terms with what's really important to me, and I have seen friends come, go or just tug along. It's a strange ordeal, because even some of ones best and closest friends you might only see a few times a month. Friendships have turned from being part of a daily routine drinking coffee and hanging around, into being the sense of knowing who you've got where, who you can count on, and who you can immediately trust. A much more valuable relationship, I feel.
I have spent most of the year hanging around with people who are either considerably older or younger than myself. Being a subbie teacher has placed me in a constant vacuum of age. Surprisingly I think I've fared quite well through this vacuum, and I've had lots of enjoyable moments to the point where I actually feel a bit privileged. Children are a very life-confirming bunch to be around, and having been such a consistent fixture at a place full of them has been really interesting. I've known many of these kids now for almost a year, and some of them I've really seen come a long way. One class in particular, one of the second grades, which I initially dreaded, have now become one of my favourites. They've seen me so much now that we know eachothers' routines, and especially the girls are really witty and bright. I hope at least a few of them will retain their spark and charm when they grow up, sadly though the harsh realities of teen life will probably disornament many of them. The teens and 'tweens have been enjoyable too, and especially the two sixth grades that i had the privilege of teaching on a regular basis for a month have really been interesting to follow. When I met them at first, they were still by many means little kids with little kid-interests and a little-kid point of view. Through this year, many of them have become real teenagers, for better or worse.
When I started off, I was clearly biased towards preferring the older students. They require less pedagogical skill, and their age and sense of irony enables me to act towards them as i would act towards my peers, more or less, and I've put an emphasis on treating them as the youth they want to be treated as. I've especially had some memorable moments in teaching social science to the nithgraders, a subject where I actually feel competent enough to ascend to a high level, and I've somehow managed to have them listening to me and engaging in often even slightly academic and philosophical discussions. However, I have truly learnt to embrace the joys of teaching the little kids, to the extent that i now mostly prefer them. There's this certain sense of spontaneity and uncomplicatedness with young kids, and some of them really attach themselves to you. My week in one of the zeroeth grades really put me up to dealing with the little ones, because many joys surface by following their energetic lives.
All of that came out from the girl with the hat. Many more girls and boys with hats will bask in the nights of June this coming week, and even though one can't help being slightly envious, this is their time, and their piece of the cake.
